this cat’s name is princess monstertruck that’s it evreything’s going to be ok
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
in california, a man walks back into his white-picket-pence life and his wife shrieks like she’s seen a ghost.
in antarctica, another man knocks at the gate of a research station, cold and shivering in a light suit, asking if they can put him in touch with an obscure religious sect.
in a maryland hospital, a forensic pathologist frowns at a blood sample of one of the patients found at the crash site. ancient biological signatures.
in paris, passengers disembarking from an airline all swear in interviews that people were falling from the sky.
in mexico, an old blind psychic looks up and the only lights she ever sees are winking out one by one in the sky.
in the sahara, an oasis blooms.
in el giza, a man shakes sand from his hair and thinks that times sure have changed since 2500BC.
in japan, flower blossoms flutter down across the country, red as blood.
in southeast asia, foreigners are fished out from disputed waters. the locals call it a miracle. the politicians call it diplomatic disaster.
in the appalachia, the extremist church of christian soldiers start preparing.
in russia, the woman who walked out from the fire digs the heels of her hands into her eyes and tells flocking reporters that she just wants to go home.
back in california, the man resumes living the american dream like the last year never happened. he dotes on his family, he socializes with all the right people, he keeps his hands clean. at night, he tells his four-year old twins a story of heaven.
The perfect post.
DONT SIT ON TOP THIS DICK IF U SCARED OF HEIGHTS
I like the look Nicki gives like “yup that bitch”
The idea that people had sex before the 20th century really freaks me out. Like George Washington probably got a blow job and that makes me uncomfortable.
shoutouts to all my homies with sinus infections that keep smoking anyway
i am three years behind in my math homework
I need weed ♥♥
OH MY GOD BABY WEASELS
THEYRE SO CUTE AND TINY WHAT THE HECK